Oct 31 2009
Lindsay Graham Undergoes Personality Transplant
Haha. This is a good satire on Senator Graham from The Vitamin Press.
ShareCharleston, SC- Doctors in South Carolina are reporting that all has gone well with Lindsay Graham’s recent surgery and that the long time Democrat Senator is resting comfortably and expected to make a full recovery. Graham, who early yesterday morning became the second person to undergo a complete personality transplant and the first individual to survive the procedure, is also reported to be in good spirits and eager to find out what it is like to make friends.
Graham is well known for his work in the Senate. What is less well known is the fact that he suffered from a severe personality disorder that had rendered him incapable of being an actual human being for many years -if not all of his life. According to press releases from the Senator’s Office the condition was the result of an accident during the early 1980’s when Graham valiantly threw himself in front of several Rino’s that angry villagers were attempting to chase out of Washington, DC with the Constitution. Not everyone agrees with this assessment. Dr. Baltimore, M.D. (the lead surgeon on the operation) believes that Graham was born with a serious genetic condition known as Chronic Reaction Against Personality and has likely never had a personality. As he told The Vitamin Press, “Oh sure it’s Chronic Reaction Against Personality. I tell you I’ve never met a man so full of C.R.A.P. in my entire life.”
